you got a fast car - but is it fast enough so you can fly away

11 PM can be the perfect time for some ice-cream

And this was my mum's idea. She's like a child sometimes, and I love it. Yesterday at about 10 PM we were on our way to the garden to spend the night with some romantic comedies. All the spontaneity that I have definitely came from her. Even though today I was extremely sad, tired and sleepy, I couldn't say no to her, trying l to cheer me up, right? Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I love my mum.

I honestly hope that soon I will be back with some good news.. And bright mood. I can't stay like this any longer, this is killing me. I wish you could see me at daytime: I eat eat eat, like food was my only friend. Yugh, I don't even want it, it's just so.. comforting. I'll cut it out, I swear. It's better to weigh only a ton and have a depression than be happy and weigh 5.

Goodnight, dollies, soon everything's gonna be different. It has to be.

i'm only a princess because of you ♥

tastes like.. summery evenings!

the sun is up...

...and everything's fine again. My BFF's in town, my inspiration is back, the summer is all over me again. It's funny how easily everything can change within hours, isn't it?:)

waiting

Kiekvieną rytą bėgu laiptais žemyn pašėlusiai judindama per naktį nusistovėjusį orą. Deja, pašto dėžutę vis randu tuščią, žinau, dar anksti, bet ta nežinia po truputį žudo, sukeldama vis kitokias mintis galvoje ir jausmus krūtinėje. Rodos, visai neseniai atsakymo iš universiteto laukimas buvo savotiška pramoga, žadinanti vaikišką smalsumą ir nekantravimą, tačiau dabar... Dabar laukiu to voko kaip išganymo, voko, kuris galbūt padės man iš čia pabėgti. Pastarieji įvykiai Lietuvoje mane beprotiškai sukrėtė, jau nekalbant apie įvykius Šiauliuose, apie žmones, kuriuos matydavau, kurie vis sukiodavosi mano ir mano artimiausių žmonių aplinkoje, kurie prasilenkiant gatvėje sveikindavosi su mano mama... Jau kelinta diena kaip mane nuo visko pykina. Žinau, kad visame pasaulyje dedasi panašūs įvykiai, tačiau vis tiek noriu išvažiuoti, noriu atsidurti tiesiog kažkur toli toli nuo visko, turėti kuo rūpintis ir ką veikti. Užsimiršti. Vasariškos dienos iki šiol bėgo tobulai, buvo visko - nuo nuoširdžių pokalbių pasitinkant saulę iki drugelių pilve, akimis sutikus jo žvilgsnį. Bet dabar... Dabar aš nebemoku, o gal nebenoriu niekuo mėgautis, rodos, kad ir kaip besistengčiau, neišeis. Ant lentynos guli kelios knygos, kurias jau seniai norėjau perskaityti, išpardavimų vitrinos tarsi kviečia mane neskubant jas iššluoti, nauji nagų lako buteliukai stovi išsirikiavę ir tarsi ragina pažiūrėti, kaip viliojamai jie susipindės pašvietus saulei, draugai kviečia lįsti lauk... Bet aš nieko, nieko nebenoriu. Nebeturiu niekam jėgų. Žinau, kad rytoj pabusiu gerai išsimiegojusi ir ironiškai šyptelsiu, perskaičius šitai, bet dabar tiesiog labai užsimaniau išsikalbėti. Taukšti niekus galiu arba visiškai nepažįstamiems, arba geriausiai draugei, kurios, deja, nėra šalia. Tiesą sakant, pradedu nerimauti, nesulaukiu iš jos žinių nuo trečiadienio... Bet ne, jai viskas gerai, jiems visiems. Man tik kvaila paranoja prisiskaičius tų straipsnių.

Viskas greit susitvarkys, tai tik dienų, blogiausiu atveju savaitės klausimas. Tuomet galėsiu sėdėdama ant stogo kvatoti su drauge, o užrašų knygutė bus pripildyta malonių rūpesčių, kaip antai nusipirkti didžiausią įmanomą lagaminą ar paieškoti pigiausių lėktuvo bilietų. Dievaži, net juokinga, kaip man reikia veiklos. Kartais reikia pailsėti net nuo atostogų, argi ne?

handmade simplicity

stepping stone

So the prom was over.. the day before yesterday? I'm totally lost in time. I can't believe it all ended just like that. POOF, and you're not a scholar anymore. After that I've been partying for two days, two restless days and nights without any sleep. Who cares, right? I'll rest when I'll die, unless the hell (where I'll be heading to) is a one big party. I keep smiling - I love everyone so much!! It's really sad to graduate and know that all the wonderful people will not be with you day by day, but it's so good to know that in this big crowd there are people that will be there for you whenever you need them.. True, true, true friends. ♥

little things

self-made!:)

we never stop

Spontaneity is the best thing about this summer. Like ABSOLUTELY!! One moment I'm in my balcony enjoying sushi, wine and good music, the other I'm on my way to another crazy trip. My BFF's daddy has the best hobby in the entire world - paragliding. So he got an offer to attend in a festival, where he would have to throw 50 kg of candies to people!! Amazing. We came along and felt like kids again: imagine us sitting on grass, licking melted chocolate from our fingers and listening to the performance of telebimbam:))). I haven't felt so FREE for ages. Later we enjoyed a football match (at least we pretended to, cause we couldn't take our eyes from no.5 - M.Mikutavicius:)) hottie!) I laughed the entire day. I actually still do. And I love it. I love this summer, I love my BFF, I love my life. 

With or without all the crap in it, it's simply perfect.

pocket full of sunshine

i've never tried bbq marshmallows before!! yummyy!

thanks, grandma! ♥

chasing comets

What an akward morning. The minute I woke up I grabbed my phone, ran to the bathroom and made a call. I got the result of my last exam, and it's not bad, just a little worse than I had expected. Whatever. Everything's finally over. There's so much crap going on in my life right now. So many decisions. The most important desicions I've ever had to make. I don't even know how I feel right now: confused, scared, lonely, excited, cautious, tired.. My BFF's leaving for a while and that's another reason of the way I feel. Because we've been struggling through this together.. And now I'm gonna be on my own. I know it's so stupid and childish to think this way, but it is how it is. I hope tomorrow is going to be a brand new day full of pleasant surprises, otherwise I'll stay like this and it's not the best feeling for the summer. To feel better I drink latte with marshmallows from my dad's cup - it always calms me down. Btw I made this painting on the porcelain cup for dad's birthday. When I was little he gave me a book - moomins and the comet chase. He apologised for the book being so old, but he explained that it was his absolutely favourite book as a child and he read it 12 times (my granny used to count:)). I loved it so much, that I couldn't put it away for years. Mum said I had read it 14 times, so yeah, I must have really loved it to even beat my dad. So it's probably the only thing that ties me on with him, the crazy love for the moomins. As it was his birthday I wanted him to have something that would remind him of me and his childhood and that he would be encouraged not to be afraid to dream. He drinks coffee from it every morning and I love this view - my dad, drowned in his thoughts and concerns, holding a moomin that I've made. 

This morning I'm doing the same and I'm starting to feel better. What a magical cure.

truly madly deeply